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23rd October 2018by admin0

ALL diets are the same,

Every diet that you have tried that has left you losing weight has done the same job as all the others,

Slimming world,

Weight watchers,


Skinny coffee,

Juice plus,


Carb Free,


If they have ‘worked’ for you then they have done one important job,

Left you in a calorie deficit,

That’s it,

But my favourite one from the list is carb free,

We have all tried it,

I know I have,

Well I say tried, I don’t know if you would call half a day a valiant effort,

That was all I could stick to it for, just a few measly hours,

If anything it left me more pissed off with myself and you know what I did ? ate an entire dominoes pizza and family size bag of revels,

Carb fucking heaven,

After polishing it off with no issue I then spent the evening scrolling through the next diet I could start tomorrow,

It became a vicious circle,

Try diet – fail diet – be upset and binge…..rinse and repeat

For literally years,

See, we will always look at carbs as the culprit,

It’s the one thing that is stopping us losing the muffin top and feeling fire in our bikini,

I get it,

Carbs are the bread, pasta and pizza or the world,

In other words the thing we consume the most of – sometimes without even realising it…..

Crisps, Sweets, biscuits, chips, potatoes and everything else,

Have a think…..

How much of that do you eat on a regular basis?

How much carbs do you consume day to day?

We have all heard the wanky term ‘no carbs before marbs’


but granted if you were to cut out carbs then you would see results IF you were in a calorie deficit,

But why would we cut out the one thing we eat a lot of during our day ?

That would mean we would be eating completely differently ?

Trying to make new habits with new foods over night ?

Attempting to cut out 90% of your current diet at the click of your fingers ?

Come on now ladies, you don’t need me to tell you that is pretty moronic,

But that doesn’t mean i don’t understand where you are coming from,

You want results yesterday so you will cut out the one thing that you think the problem is,

I’ll give you a clue – carbs aren’t your problem,

If you are over weight it’s not because you eat croissants for breakfast – it’s because you had 3 which came to 600 calories which meant you were in a surplus for the day.

It’s not because you had chips last night – it’s because you had 3 servings coming in at 800 calories which meant you were in a surplus for the day,

It’s not because you ate that entire dominoes pizza to yourself – it’s because you ate the whole thing coming in at 1600 calories which meant you were in a surplus for the day,

And you know what else ?

If you did any of those things once of twice you wouldn’t get fat,

It’s because you do it every fucking weekend when you are hungover,

Now, I am in know way a boring dickhead coach who says broccoli and fucking kale are the only ways to lose fat,

But sometimes we gotta look at ourselves and how much we are eating,

Not blame it on the stuff that tastes good,

Pizza tastes fucking immense so I must cut it for fat loss,

Chips are the one so I must cut them out for fat loss,

My favourite chippy tea tastes next level which means I need to cut it out for fat loss,

We assume that on a diet we have to be miserable,

We have to be boring and eat tasteless shit,

Everything must be green and absolutely not deep fried,

This could not be further from the truth,

and this is why carbs HAVE to be part of your fat loss plan,

They aren’t the problem to your lack of results plus you fucking love them – absolute winner right ?

So why would we cut them out…?

We are gonna keep them part of our daily food – that way we haven’t deprived ourselves which will ultimately leave us to binge later down the line,

Here’s what you are gonna do,

Track what you had yesterday,

Don’t cheat,

Now I’m gonna guess a lot of it was made up of carbs…..

You can find this out in the ‘macro’ section of your food tracker but ultimately that doesn’t matter,

What matters is how many calories it came to ?

Lets say your maintenance calories are 1800 (this is the amount of calories roughly you would eat per day to stay the same weight)

and let’s say you ate 2100 calories and it was all made up of carbs,

The fact that you have eaten 300 OVER your maintenance is the issue you are putting on weight not the fact that it was 100% of your food was beige goodness,

You get me ?

If you had eaten 2100 calories of kale, spinach and fucking celery you still would have put on weight because it is over your maintenance,

So remember you can enjoy being on a diet,

You can enjoy being on a plan that helps you see results,

You just don’t believe that at the moment because all the plans you have tried have been wank….

For want of a better word,

Dieting can be super hard for females,

Males as well, but let’s stay on point,

I used to work in a restaurant and nearly every table I went to – at some point over the night they would be talking about what diet they are on or how they have to lose weight,

I even had one lady order just a chicken breast and broccoli when the rest of the table had pizza,

(I did warn her against it because not only was she getting robbed price wise but the chicken was dry as fuck without a cheese sauce on it!)

But she went with it and looked miserable as sin, especially as she only had a tap water to wash it down with,

But again, we are on a diet that we think we can’t have pizza or any of the other joys of an Italian restaurant,

I mean fair play to her, going into any restaurant and not ordering any sort of bread deserves a virtual high five,

anyhow, straying away from the point,

She did it because she wanted results NOW, so cut out everything ‘nice’ to try and get there as quick as possible,

And the worst thing is, I can bet you a tenner she fell off the wagon pretty soon after she paid nearly £18 for dry chicken and broccoli,

I don’t want you to be like her,

I want you to still be making smart choices and still dropping fat weeks down the line , not letting it be a few hours flash in the pan,

So track the shit out of your food,

If you are in your deficit CONSISTENTLY you will see fat loss results,

Wether you’re eating kale, spinach, pizza or fucking Haribo,


As a little bit of extra help here is our top 5 recipes of carb fuelled dinners that are decent on the calories and let’s you have all the things you didn’t think were ‘allowed’ when it comes to dieting.

Click here to get yours 👊🏻

5th October 2018by admin0

So in the UK there is a program called The Great British Bake Off,

Depending where you are in the world you know doubt would have heard of it, 

It’s a competition where each week the contestants have to bake a dessert of some sort and the judges vote for the best one with people being eliminated as the show progresses, 

I gotta admit, I’ve never really been caught up in the hype of it, 

But for some it’s a weekly ritual that they watch without fail, 

Now, today, this show took criticism,

Which is rare because a lot of people go acca over this program, 

Like have GBBO parties and I also think it’s because it’s British, 

I mean they cook in a tent for gods sake,

Like it’s hardly upper class is it, 

But the word British in the title sky rockets it in the class table,


There were two people then went on ‘This Morning’ (another british daytime program)

and these people said that the GBBO is fuelling the obesity crisis that is sweeping Britian, 

Yes really, 

Are they fucking serious ? 

Their argument was that the GBBO should come with a Health Warning for fat people,

His words, not mine,

His slogan was – ‘If you’re fat think before you slice’

ye, alright mate,

You absolute bellend,

He said that when you see the cakes being made your senses start to go and the first thing you do is run to the fridge,


But what in gods name is a health warning going to do,

We need to get to the route of the problem,

The people who are over weight have an issue with food,

Pure and simple,

and yet again we are giving them something to blame their lack of weight loss and obesity on,

It’s not the fact there is a baking program on the TV, once a week for a few weeks,

That isn’t the problem,

We have a bad relationship with food,

Use the food as a comfort for things that have gone wrong (which is normal by the way),

Feeling guilty about eating such and such so eat more of it to make us feel better,

Convenience, calorific foods are ten times cheaper then the healthy shit,

There is too much information on the internet to confuse us,

All that info contradicts each other,

There are too many companies and people praying on peoples vulnerability and selling shit, quick fixes that don’t work, 

There are far too many uneducated people that are ‘helping’ people,

These are the main issues with the obesity crises in Britain,

not the fact that feel good programs like the GBBO should come with a health warning,

I wouldn’t say there is a way to fix it,

But we can all start by addressing the real issue – which is a lot of peoples relationship with food,

And the fact we want to undo years of bad eating and zero activity in just a sip of a shake or a joining of a gym,

It’s not a bad thing that we all look for a quick fix though,

We would do wouldn’t we,

Like if someone said to use –

“Lose your mum tum in just 2 weeks with this simple fat loss shake”


“ok we need to look at your calories – how we can make small changes this is a long term goal but we can def get you there”

You would pick option 1 all day long,

It’s quick,

It sounds easy,

and it targets that one area you want,

Mate, it’s cling film but they have sold it to use a inch loss wraps…..

Come on,

I can help you in terms of calling out the shit and offering you simple advice,

But ultimately you just gotta use a bit of common sense,

As i say we will always look for the easy option – but we have to stop being so gullible and ultimately stop blaming our lack of results on other factors,

I can see it now – you’re sat with your friends at dinner tonight,

The convo of weight loss and diets always seems to crop up,

I worked in a restaurant for 4 years so heard it all from relationship issues, kids that needed rehoming and the golden subject of diets,


You will say – “haha you hear that story on This Morning about that guy blaming GBBO for the obesity crises,

Ye that’s my problem – lol lol lol”

Easy to laugh about it – isn’t it,

Not so easy when you took 2 hours to get ready for the dinner because nothing fit,

Not so easy when you laddered your tights trying to pull them up to your bra to hide your belly,

Not so easy when you had to wear the same pair of black leggings you always wear,

Harsh ?

Possibly, but i know these are daily struggles that so many ladies struggle with,

How do I know ?

1 – I have been there,

2 – I work with ladies everyday – helping them overcome those exact obstacles,

So do me a favour, in fact two,

STOP using a program and what some douchebag presenter thinks about your favourite program,

The media can be a cruel mistress,

and sway our opinion MASSIVELY,

Which leads us to confusion AND procrastination,

Procrastination means fuck all results


Stop falling for shit, gullible, money grabbing fuckwits who don’t give a shit about your results or lack of in this case,

Play the long game – I promise you will be worth it.

18th September 2018by admin0

Slimming world,

Wonderful, wonderful slimming world,

Where to begin,

I would say today but unless you are reading this literally today it’s gonna make no sense,

But Slimming world have just changed their protocol shall we say,

They have changed some of their foods,

Now if you aren’t aware of Slimming world – um, where have you been,

But they are a weight loss club that you attend every week to get weighed in and they have a somewhat weird way to teach you about food,

They have foods that are ‘free’

and they have foods that are ‘syns’

Depending on your weight loss will determine how many syns you are allowed over the course of the day,

and you basically spend them how ever you like,

So for example a free food would be pasta, potatoes and fruit,

Ye fucking pasta is free,

we will get on to that later,

and then syn foods are everything else,

So for example a jaffa cake has 2.5 syns and a glass of wine has got 6 syns,

and today that includes muller lites and many others,

Just wanna clear up the fact that muller lites yesterday were 89 calories and today they are still 89 calories so that hasn’t changed.

So where to begin,

I think SW is great if you are extremely over weight,

If you have a lot of weight to lose and have built up some pretty shit habits with your eating over the last few years then SW is great,

It gives you something to focus on,

It gives you a little bit of accountability,

It gives you some support and social interaction,

It also gives you some structure,

So of course the weight will start to come off,

and that will do absolute wonders to your confidence and motivation to continue,

You could lose stones in fact and that has the ability to absolutely change your life,

But then what happens……

One day you will go and the scales won’t change,


You could put it down to a bad week,

Maybe you could put it down to the takeaway you had on Saturday,

Or maybe it was because you missed that workout on Wednesday,

Then the motivation can very quickly go wayward and you my friend could be back at square 1 very fucking quickly,

Did you know only 5% of slimming world attendees have kept off the weight they lost 12-24 months down the line,

That is a fucked up statistic right there,

Like 5%,

What the fuck happened to the other 95% ?

I can take a guess…


No Education

There is no teaching about the one little bit of info you need when it comes to fat loss,


You have syns, free and healthy extras food,

No mention of the energy in foods that makes the whole fucking difference,

and the fact that pasta is ‘free’ is kinda crazy,

A 100g portion of pasta is 148 calories but is ‘free’

but 3 jaffa cakes is 138 calories yet would be 7.5 syns.

That makes zero sense,

There is no education as to what people do for a lifestyle change,

It’s another diet that people stick to and fall off off very quickly before they join up again in January,

PLUS They are doing your weight not fat,

Weight is made up of water, muscle and fat so when the scales change, is it fat you have put on or weight – there is no education for that,

It’s just leaves the teacher (or whatever that are called) looking at you with a disappointed look a condescendingly saying “what could you do better for next week”



No exercise

Apparently, I’m not a fan of that word as I like to give you guys actual facts,


Apparently SW say no to exercise,

God knows why,

Could it be because you will drink more water after a workout so will be ‘heavier’ which means your SW plan technically isn’t working ?

Could it be because all you eat is pasta ?

Could it be because they don’t want you to tone up (build muscle) which could make you heavier ?

Who knows – but that is horse shit,

There is so many mental benefits for exercise that from a psychological point of you help a crazy amount,



You get weighed in

The scales – those fucked up pieces of glass that you continue to stand on,

I have had clients before that have gone to extreme lengths just for those scales to change,

Like really extreme,

No drinking, No eating and there was a laxative involved at one time,

That is really sad,

1 – Your weight will fluctuate throughout the day which will have nothing to do with actually how you ate,

2 – Your mental health can take a nose dive, you feel confident because you have lost weight, you feel fucking fire because you are getting compliments and you feel high as a kite because you are noticing results,

But one Wednesday evening you go and the scales don’t change – what does that do to your mood ?

3 – Eating a lot of carbs leads to water retention which leads to heaviness – you think it’s fat but it’s just weight and will balance itself out,



Syn foods

Calling certain foods syns is all sorts of wrong,

You are telling people what they are eating is a syn,

A syn means law breaking,

So you are a criminal for eating some jaffa cakes,

Are you for real….?

Taking a side from the fact your being a criminal, it gives you such a bad relationship with food,

You are seeing foods as good and bad,

What are we 6 years old ?

We can have foods that are more nutrient dense….

We can have foods that are lower in calories….

We can have foods that taste fucking epic but are usually higher in calories…..

None of them are good or bad,

So we really need to stop calling foods syns – you are not a criminal for having a glass of wine,

It brings a whole load of guilt when you call it that as well,

You’re sat crying into your maltesers because you are breaking your SW rules and regulations

Ye alright mate……


Just like any diet out there, SW can ‘work’ for you,

But when we are looking to make a massive change we are also wanting to make a sustainable change WITH the education to make it a lifestyle choice,

Which will give you results constantly without feeling like you are really trying,

This, for me and for my clients is the BEST way to see results…..

Like any diet, take everything into consideration but please do not use the scales – they will fuck you off big time.

28th August 2018by admin0

The word healthy can be branded around left, right and fucking centre in the fitness industry,

So many people portraying this is healthy, no that is healthy, no you’re wrong this is healthy,

blah blah blah,

I’ll be scrolling through Facebook sometimes and see fitpro’s arguing how this method is really unhealthy and the other one arguing back saying it’s the best thing since sliced bread,

If you – as just a regular lady wanting to lose a bit fat and gain back your confidence, reads that,

You would think the whole fitness industry was fucked,

If us as qualified professionals can’t agree, how do you know what is the right advice to follow,

But the sad story about it is,

The fitness industry is just a massive dick swinging competition,

All fighting over who can get the most clients,

Who makes the most money,

and who looks the most ripped,

It seems the art and want to help people is slowly decreasing,

Watch the whole fitness industry turn on me now,

But with the growth of fad products, bullshit information it just goes to show businesses will sell and say just about anything to get your money,

and it’s sad,

Really sad,

Because you just want some help,

Some direction,

Some guidance,

Some reassurance,

Some motivation,

Unfortunately you don’t get all of that with a generic printed out PDF,

You don’t get that with a recipe book,

and you don’t get that with Mr 8 pack who looks at himself more in the mirror, then watching your form to make sure you don’t break your back,

I would love for every fitness professional to be on the same page,

but we aren’t for a number of reasons,

Mainly because a lot just want to be different,

They want to tell you something new, something revolutionary, something that doesn’t start with cal and end in orie,

Which is great,

But when you are lying to people,

Making up bullshit just to sound different I don’t think they realise how much damage that does to someones mental health,

That yet again another diet that you tried but couldn’t stick to,

‘Oh but that lady lost 25 pounds on this plan, why can’t I?’

‘This plan worked for so and so why didn’t it work for me?’

‘How did such and such stick to this, it’s far too difficult’

So not only is there a lot of bullshit, but there is a fuck ton of ‘one size fits all’

Which is where those examples come into play,

But if I can give you one bit of clarity amongst all the garbage out there,

There is no such thing as a one size fits all,

Do you like steak ?

Great, well the vegen diet that leaves you in a CD won’t work for you,

(CD is calorie deficit by the way)

Do you like pizza ?

Great, well the keto diet that leaves you in a CD won’t work for you,

Do you like alcohol ?

Great, well the no alcohol detox diet that leaves you in a CD won’t work for you,

Do you like food ?

Great, well the juice diet that leaves you in a CD won’t work for you,

See where i’m going with this ?

Every plan that leaves you in a CD will make you lose fat,

But some coach telling you you must do Keto is not gonna work when you fucking love pizza and crisps,

If it worked for Sharon it’s because she doesn’t eat that much carbs anyway so it’s not so much of a dramatic change so she could STICK TO IT,

Another coach telling you that steak is a devil of god and any meat eater should be burnt at the stake (no pun intended) and if you want fat loss you must cut it out,

That’s because it worked for one of their clients who doesn’t eat red meat, switched to Quorn equivalents for the rest and again, it’s not a massive change so she could STICK TO IT, 

ANY diet plan can leave you in a calorie deficit,


But you have got to think about one super important thing,

Can you stick to it?

Kerry who has eaten 3500 calories everyday for the last 3 years won’t be able to stick to a 1500 calorie diet straight away,


Laura who has eaten a meal deal every lunch for the past year and a pizza 4 times a week won’t be able to stick to the Keto diet straight away,


Sarah who has eaten chicken, steak and bacon everyday for the last 2 years won’t be able to stick to a vegan diet straight away,


Why change something so massive for someone when that’s what they are used to ?

I’ve seen it before,

A client would go to their new PT and show them their food diary,

Sheepishly handing it over, knowing they will get told off by the 6 foot 4 jacked up trainer,

The trainer turns round and says –



Can’t have that,

No more of that,

Can’t eat that anymore,


and definitely none of that,



Jesus what world are we living in,

What is that gonna do to the client ?

Leave them feeling that the only thing left to eat is spinach, kale and maybe a bit of chicken, if it’s a weekend,

Not to mention the fact they feel like a kid at school being told off because their homework is wrong,

This is how yo yo dieting comes in,

and it happens so often,

and as a coach it’s hard to watch ladies go through that,

Not only is it damaging physically for them,

(Restriction and strict diets leading to binges which leads to weight gain being the most common)

but mentally ?


Self conscious




Feeling like a failure

and so much more,

It doesn’t have to be like that,

Where am I going with this ?

Cracking question because we do feel like we have gone off on a slight tangent,

1 – There is a lot of PT’s, coaches out there that wanna help but some will portray their way is the best way every time,

But you have to be on a plan that you can stick to – a decent coach will hear that and make sure they are helping you to the best of their ability and not using a one size fits all,


2 – Going it along? Do NOT make massive changes to your current plan – ye if you’re consuming 17 million calories a day you would change that BUT slow and steady always wins the race,


3 – If some product sounds too good to be true and literally says it will be EASY then the only thing that will be easy is them taking your money,

Please for the sake of your mental and physical heath – don’t do it.


Fat loss can reap a ridiculous amount of benefits to your physical AND mental health you just gotta be on a plan suitable for YOU 🙂






13th August 2018by admin0

When we start out in our own fat loss journey sometimes we can set ourselves pretty ridiculous goals,

I’ve had ladies come to me before saying they want to have a six pack,

‘I want to be super toned’

‘I want to compete in a bikini competition’

‘I want to get my body fat down to below a certain percentage’

and that’s all great – you know, we can each have our own goals we wanna strive for,

But for females it is difficult,

Really fucking difficult,

to get super lean,

We will always carry more fat then men for many different reasons but the main one is for pregnancy,

We store more fat so our body can cope with the demands that being pregnant brings,

It’s all linked in with our reproductive system and menstrual cycle,

You see females who have suffered with an eating disorder before ?

Their periods have stopped ?

Told they will struggle to have children ?

Down to their body fat dropping too low,

now you might turn around and say you don’t wanna have kids – again, your shout,

but the amount of life you have to give up to drop super low in bf and get super lean, is crazy,

We are talking weeks/months of prep (depending on your current situation )

and too sustain that figure? well that shit is another story,

If you think of your current lifestyle right now ?

Maybe pretty ‘healthy’ in the week – might have a cheeky glass of wine or 2 on an evening,

Chinese takeaway at the weekend ?

Night out with the girls couple of times a month ?

Family occasions every so often involving all the food, alcohol and 7 different dessert choices,

And not to mention the office biscuits and snacks that always appear at work,

All of that would stop

All of it,

No nights out,

No takeaways,

No alcohol,

No biscuits,

Could you handle that ….?

You’ll be the one that turns up to a family occasion with a tupperware box full of dry chicken and some greens,

You’ll be the one that has a bottle of water at the cinema rather then some popcorn and a coke,

You’ll be the one in the office with your air for enjoyment when others are tucking into the celebrations,

and you’ll be the one that swerves all the nights out because you can’t go and just drink water,

Now as with anything it comes down to your own goal,

But sometimes we can set a target and goal without knowing what we have to give up to be there,

We are talking 90% of the foods you love,

We are talking 100% of your social life,

For what ?

To get super lean, again for what ?

As I said for us females to get that lean is super difficult ,

To keep it is near on impossible,

and let’s face it – when we don’t eat what we want we get grumpy,


fucking angry,

and are not nice to around,

Again you will go through all that for what …..?

Last year I had a conversation with an old work colleague who did a bikini competition,

The prep was tough, super tough – and she was always craving things she knew she wasn’t ‘allowed’

(not being allowed certain foods is fucking stupid but that’s a story for another day)

She said – I wouldn’t do it again – I went through all that prep for what – a new profile picture.


before anyone jumps down my throat – there is a top 1%,

a top 1% of genetical epicness in terms of being able to stay lean ALL THE TIME,

But I’m definitely not in that 1%,

and as much as you don’t wanna hear it – you probably aren’t either.

ye – life sucks sometimes,

You may have a friend like it,

The one who can near enough anything and not put on an ounce of fat,

Or that guy who you know who has maccys and nights out 6 times a week and always has a six pack,

Ye – they are in that top 1% – lucky bastards right ?!

You scroll through Instagram or Facebook looking for inspiration,

‘I wanna look like that’

‘Ye I have to look like that’

But how am I gonna do it…?


That’s how,

‘oh but those models look so happy’

Ye – if you got paid to look like that you would plant a smile on your face,

and the ones that always seem to go out drinking,

ye that’s your top 1 percentile,

I can’t preach it enough that your own goal is your own goal,

but I, and any decent coach out there, want you to –

A – Reach your goal


B – Enjoy getting there,

But we have to make sure that the goal is realistic and that you know what you will need to do to get there,

and how much of my current lifestyle will I have to give up to get there,

Because your fat loss plan has to be REALISTIC to you and SUSTAINABLE,

That way we will have half of chance of sticking at it and achieving some kick ass results,

If you currently consume 3000 calories plus (easily done by the way)

but you wanna get super lean,

I would be cutting your calories down to half of that – maybe even more,

Are you gonna be able to stick to it ?

Fuck no

( no offence )

Fat loss can be super simple,

and it is super simple,

But if you’re in the corner of  ‘how lean can I get’

I would ask you to really think about the sacrifices you will make to get there,

and for what ?

a new profile picture….?

As I say, and as I will always say – your fat loss goal is 100% your decision,

But I don’t want you going into it blind,

I, myself will never cut out shit to simply get as lean as possible,

I love dominoes and beer to much,

Not gonna apologise about that at all,

I can and will see fat loss results without having to give that sorta shit up,

But getting super lean,

like six pack lean for us females,

unless you are in the top 1 percentile is near on impossible,

but not impossible,

Just be aware of what you’re letting yourself into and what you’re gonna need to give up to get there.

30th July 2018by admin0


The culprit of a LOT of bad decisions but also a lot of great decisions and in some cases some fucking monumental ones,

Plus a lot of great stories usually starts with –

“We were at so and so’s pre drinking”


“We were drinking in such and such bar”

Every time,

A great story never started with – “We were at church on Sunday and……” or “We were at this really nice vegetarian restaurant and…”

The one problem with alcohol though ?


I swear they get worse as you get older, we almost need to reach this summit and at that age you don’t get them anymore,

Like when I was 18 I could go out drinking till 4am and be right as rain for work at 9am,

That 👆🏻, is now very much in the past,

Now, I need to strategically plan a night out – making sure I haven’t got a lot of work on the next day otherwise it will be cancelled,

And that’s not even out out, If that shit goes down then we are looking at 2 days off with a pre planned Netflix series ready,

But then when you get to like parents age,

I won’t say how old mine is coz the mother will see this,

But, when you get say over 40ish you don’t get hangovers again,

It’s like it’s come full circle,

Like they seem to drink shots and not even flinch,

They drink champagne like it’s water,

and a hangover to them means possibly a couple of paracetamols but they are still up grinding at 6am,


But one thing that really grinds my gears,

is that whenever people follow a ‘diet’, alcohol is the first thing that is jacked in,

‘Oh i’m going on an alcohol detox’


‘It will help me lose fat faster’


It won’t,

Not if you replace those alcohol calories with food calories,

We can though, as I have done it, go on a detox if we have had a heavy few days or for me it’s if i’ve been out out, just to give your body chance to rest,

But straying away from the point,

Yes alcohol can be really calorific and yes it can make us put on weight,

A fuck ton of weight if we aren’t careful,

But here is where this can happen,

Usually a heavy night drinking will happen on a weekend,

and what happens at the weekend ?

We ‘relax’ on our diet,

We slow down,

We are a bit more lenient with the food and snacks,

Plus we usually sack off any sort of exercise because “it’s the weekend”,

Which is fine, but you know that you are gonna have 4 beers, 3 jagerbombs, 4 g and t’s, 1 sambuca, a random kiss with a stranger and a cheesy chips,

Eliminating this kiss from the equation, that is a lot of calories,

But because it’s the weekend and you’re being more relaxed you are having those calories ON TOP of your relaxed calories,

So our relaxed day calories + no exercise + Saturday nights antics = a FUCK TON of calories, 

and unfortunately ladies that won’t be the whole issue,

On Sunday we are hungover,

We’ve all been there,

We know that a walk, some fresh air and 71 litres of water might ease our woes slightly,

But we decide to hibernate and order dominoes,

and Greggs,

and a Mcflurry,

Thus again equating to a fuck ton of calories,

You see how our weekend has spiralled out of control?

And it soon means that all that hard work you have done through the week – busting your ass off at the gym and all that clever meal planning you did Monday – Friday has gone flying head first out the window,


here’s the cheeky little secret,


We can be cleverer with our calories,

Real clever,

On Saturday – don’t be relaxed and eat shit loads during the day when you know you’re gonna go balls deep in the drinks in the PM,

Save up your calories over the day and ‘spend’ them in the 6 hour window of your crazy out out behaviour,

and on Sunday ?

A medium Dominoes pizza is around 1700 calories,

You my little fat loss friend can devour the whole thing and still be in your deficit,

Winner right ?

So you still get the alcohol


You still get the hangover pizza on Sunday


The best part ?

You will still see a result because you are sticking to your deficit,

It’s that simple,

So if your diet is an absolute ball bag and is as restrictive as a straight jacket then things have gotta change,

My VIP ladies drink alcohol whenever the fuck they want because they know and have learnt that it is NOT detrimental to their results,

If they just simply plan around it,

So the next time you have a big night out planned for your sister’s boyfriends, cousins, friends birthday, have a think about what you’re doing during the day,

Think of your calories like monopoly money,

Save them up and then splash them all on Piccadilly circus that evening.





24th July 2018by admin0

Flexible dieting is something that is thrown around the industry and social media like a joint at a rave,

Dieting in general has so many different points,

So many different options,

So many different variations,

I can guarantee you have been on at least one diet in the last month,

I’d even push that to the last 3 weeks,

A diet you found on Facebook,

As you were scrolling through your newsfeed for the 17th time that hour and then you saw it,

“Tried every diet?” “Feel like a failure?” “Frustrated to not see any results?”

This will solve all your problems 

Weight loss? – no problem

Fat loss? – got it covered

Struggling with your confidence? – sorted

Want to increase your height? – consider it done

Have a problem with indigestion? – we will sort that no problem, 

These products that offer next level world peace and you’ll get some fat loss along the way,

You have to buy it right ?

The absolute answer to all your problems,

This has to be the diet that works for you,

It arrives , it’s shit, just like the comments said it would be,

Just like the coach in the Facebook group told you,

Just like I would have told you if you followed my on instagram 😉,

You are immune to it – because we must all be wrong,

But these companies are fucking shit hot at marketing,

They know what you struggle with,

They know you are at your wits end,

And they also know you can’t say no to £19.99 with free postage and packaging,

Now, I can go on all fucking day about how these plans are shit,

and it’s not me trying to bash a company just trying to make some dollar,

lol – jokes it is really,

but it frustrates me how many ladies fall for it and in turn suffer,

Living a cycle of frustration,

Want to lose weight 👉🏻 buys products 👉🏻 product turns out to be a lying piece of shit 👉🏻 you binge and end up a stone heavier 👉🏻 process starts again,

It kills me,

Because I know you don’t have to settle for that shit,

I know it doesn’t have to be that difficult,

I know that with a couple of small changes you could be smashing your result,

Without having to suffer,

Without having to feel guilty,

Without having to give up your life,

Without having to struggle,

Without having to deal with the shit that these products bring you,

One thing I work on with my clients is flexible dieting,

Dieting flexibly,

Pretty simple right ?

Not following some restrictive plan that cuts out everything apart from your skinny coffee or detox tea,

(By the way your liver detoxes for you – you don’t need a fruit tea branded as detox to do it)

I coach them how to work out their calories,

and they can eat whatever the fuck they want within those calories,

If they want to eat 1800 calories of Haribo they can crack on,

It won’t do their body a whole lot of good,

But you get what I mean,

What you eat makes no fucking difference in the begginning,

Your calorie deficit does,

Every time,

No tricks,

No gimmicks,

No fads,

No bullshit,

So flexible dieting gives you so much more of a laid back approach to your fat loss,

I have had clients before that has fasted during the day because they were going out on the lash they then drank their calories but didn’t go over their limit and still lost fat,

Does your detox tea ‘allow’ alcohol ?

I put allow in inverted commas because its bollocks how plans allow or disallow a certain food or drink,

You’re an adult do what ever the fuck you want,

but I’m getting off point,


I had another lady who had a staff meal at TGI’s – she was gonna have the salad – I asked if that’s what she wanted, her answer – “Fuck no, I want the ribs”,

Have them then – just have a lighter lunch and save the calories for the evening,

Does your no carb diet allow ribs and chips ?

I wanna make this so simple for any ladies that have gone through this shit in the past,

Which unfortunately is the majority of you,

Tracking calories is the best way to see results,

Calories Deficit is the ONLY way to see fat loss,

Flexible dieting is the best way for me and my ladies to do this and STICK to it.




29th June 2018by admin0

Right now we are living in a world of technology ,

A time where most would say we are addicted to our smart phones , smart watches and the fact we have a young lady called Alexa invading our homes ,

Not only do we have this addiction that we need to rest our thumbs from all that scrolling at times ,

We don’t even read half of the newsfeed on the book of face though do we ?

We are just scrolling for the sake of it ,

Looking at pictures of your friends , sisters, , cousins brothers new puppy ,

But why ?!

It’s when you get deep down into your new work colleagues pictures  ,

Looking at pictures of their holiday in 2013 – bloody hell they look hot ,

But for gods sake – DON’T PRESS LIKE 😱 ,

Anyway ,

We are also at the height of information ,

We have got the world at our finger tips – or thumb tips of that matter ,

Any information we need we can find it in a matter of seconds ,

Got a headache ? NHS Direct will sort you right out with a reason in 17 seconds flat – just maybe don’t take brain tumour and death as the genuine diagnosis ,

Want a new car ? In 23 seconds Autotrader can give you thousands of cars for sale within a 1 mile radius of your front door ,

Need a date ? In a quick swipe right or left you could find the hottest person in your town who is indeed single like you ,

Wanna lose weight ? Go on to google , type weight loss and you will get approximately 20,100,000 results in 0.54 seconds (yes I did just google it) ,

But that right there is our problem ,

Too much information ,

With over 20 million results where the fuck do we even start ,

Chances are we will click on the top one – which in this instance is some diet that says its great for children as well (FML) ,

Either way the problem you haven’t got is not having the facts or videos or books or charts to start ,

There is a fuck ton of information out there so that is definitely not in short supply ,

Our biggest issue is knowing where to start , sticking at it and finally not getting distracted ,

In terms of where to start – KEEP IT SIMPLE AND SMALL ,

By this I mean little changes to your current lifestyle – that way it won’t feel like such a big change and you my friend , will actually have a chance of sticking at it ,

If you currently smash out 4 takeaways a week – first off cracking effort 😉 ,

but seriously , look to cut it down to 2 or even 1 a week ,

You are still cutting out a massive amount of calories , still saving yourself some dollar BUT still enjoying the food you like ,

Are we gonna drop 4 stone by doing just this ? No ,

But small changes are the absolute key to sticking at it ,

When it comes to sticking at it ,

You have got to be patient ,

You have piled on your extra weight over time – you can not expect it to pack its bags and leave you in peace in the space of a few weeks ,

Consistency is again a massive one here – you will reap the rewards if you stick at it,

And finally – don’t get distracted ,

Counting your calories is paramount for weight loss ,

But its a longer process – because we are looking for a sustainable approach , a way of life you can enjoy but still see results ,

You do not want to be like Karen next door – or miss yo yo dieter as you refer to her as ,

But there will also be Sally from the hairdressers who is on this new diet that allows her to eat 500 calories a day – what a treat ,

She has lost 5 pounds in a week ,

Shoutout to Sally – but she went out for a leaving do at the weekend and has put it all back on again and more some ,

Sally now thinks her 500 calories diet is shit – so is eating what she wants and the weight is slowly piling on again ,

And there will also be Carol from Zumba who is trying a juice diet ,

She juices everything – because why would we cut and chew our food like an animal 🙄 ,

Carol has lost 3 pounds in the last 2 days – but Carol didn’t go to Zumba last night because she was too tired (I wonder why)

You will look at these ladies or anyone you come in contact with who is on a ‘diet’ and they will preach to you how theres is the best ,

Or how they saw such great results from their way ,

But it just comes down to which one you can sustain and see results from ,

A calorie deficit is the only way to lose weight ,

ALL diets and plans out there do just that – leave you in a calorie deficit – just some of them are more harsher then others – hey carol ?!

So ladies – information is not the problem ,

In fact you definitely don’t need anymore information to get started on your body transformation journey ,

What you do need to do –

Make small changes ,

Keep it simple ,

Track your intake ,

and please don’t get distracted ,

Carol has been on 3 different rounds of her juice diet already this year and it’s only March ,

Don’t be like Carol .

15th June 2018by admin0

Calorie deficit this , calorie deficit that ,

Fucking calories – that’s all we ever hear about now a days ,

The shitty fad diets have gone a bit way ward and calories are the new thing every coach bangs on about ,

Although saying this there will always be a Juice plus jenny floating around,

But does anyone even know what a calorie is ?

And what the fuck does it mean when they bang on about deficits ?

I for one can barely spell calorie and deficit without the little red line under telling me I’m an idiot ,

So here for one night only is the most simple calorie explanation EVER ,

Calories is a unit of energy in your food – simple as ,

A big mac is 540 calories (that’s just the burger by the way – add your fries , milkshake and apple pie and fuck goes your deficit )

A protein shake is 100 calories (roughly)

A handful of spinach is 15 calories ,

Pretty simple right ?

So over the day you will consume a certain amount of calories through your food and drink ,

But on the flip side you will also burn calories ,

And this isn’t just through exercise ,

400 for that spin class or 150 for a hard bit of cleaning ,

But if you were to lay in bed all day you will burn calories – how epic is that ?

But reality sucks and we don’t lie in bed all day unless your the queen , she probably has the power to do that all day ,

anyway ,

This is known as your BMR (Basel Metabolic rate) this is the amount of calories your burn just from your body performing all its normal functions – blood pumping , heart beating etc ,

Now because we don’t lie in bed all day we burn more calories and this is known as your TDEE , (Total Daily Energy Expenditure)

This number will vary depending on your lifestyle , job and how many times you get a sweat on (lol)

So as a rough guestimation lets say your TDEE is 1800 ,

So if you consumed 1800 calories a day you would stay the same weight because you are putting in the same amount of calories you are burning – so it levels out ,

Get it ?

Still with me ?

But you my friend want to lose weight right ?

Going on holiday in a couple of months wanna wear something other then a tracksuit on the beach ?

So we are gonna take off a small amount of the TDEE number – roughly around 15% – this will mean you are in a deficit and over time you will lose weight ,

Because you are putting in LESS calories then you are burning ,

Winner winner – steak and broccoli dinner 🙃 ,

So lets imagine your have a pizza (dominoes preferably) , and it’s cut into 7 slices ,

7 slices being the 7 days of the week ,

Each slice is 1800 calories (your TDEE) ,

In order for you to lose weight , you need to leave a bit of that pizza behind each day ,

Yes – if you have had a bad day chances are you could eat the whole pizza in one day (that just means you will wait till next Monday to start again – wait, that’s a joke, don’t do that , just go again tomorrow)

Now on some days you might eat the whole slice – nothing wrong with that – because as we said the 1800 will just balance out  ,

But – if over time , day by day and week by week we are leaving a little bit of that pizza behind each day then you WILL see results ,

Make sense ?

And yes I did just compare your weight loss to a dominoes pizza but hey, you can relate to that no ?

Now one thing we have to make clear is that all these numbers , calories , BMR , TDEE all of that is a guestimate , it is NOT 100% accurate ,

So along the journey you may need to make some changes here and there but if you stick at it you WILL see results ,

So there you have it, calories made simple by comparing them to pizza ,

Now when you see and hear people talk about calories you will have a slight inclin on what they are chatting about ,

But in order for you to lose weight – imagine your TDEE as a slice of pizza each day and you won’t fuck up .

1st June 2018by admin0

How many times have you said –

I’ll get back on it tomorrow ,

I’ll get back on it on Monday ,

I’ll get back on it after the weekend ,

Too many right ?

Truth is the reason you keep saying it , meaning you have fallen off the wagon is because you make too bigger promises ,

I’m going to go to the gym 6 days a week ,

I’m gonna cut out carbs because it’s making me fat (my personal favourite),

I’m gonna eat 1000 calories a day because I will see results fast then ,

I’m gonna cut out alcohol and sugar for the next 6 weeks – that will definatly work,

These promises all have one problem ,

They are too fucking drastic ,

You drink every night of the week – not implying your an alcoholic obvs , but you do , so you think you can cut that out completely over night ?

For the last 4 years you have had a chocolate bar at lunch and a bowl of ice cream after dinner so you think you can stop that straight away ?

You haven’t stepped foot in your gym in the last 12 months even though you have been paying the membership and you think you can go from that to 6 times a week just like that ?

Ladies, come on , we are smarter then 😉

Small changes it’s what gonna do it,

Too be fair if ladies didn’t keep falling off the wagon I wouldn’t have a job but I want you to see that it doesn’t have to be so difficult ,

You are not the failure – the fact you have chosen a too restrictive diet or plan,

That is the problem – not you ,

So we gotta stop beating ourselves up and basically giving ourselves mission impossible to lose weight before we have even started ,

The only thing you should feel bad about is the fact you are setting yourself up to fail,

From the beginning ,

But we can fix that 🙂

See ,our issue is we want to get results NOW so we go as restrictive as possible,

Understandable ,


How far has it got you ?

Seriously ?

How long did your last ‘diet’ last ?

You know the one – where you tried to survive off 500 calories a day ?

That was 3 days wasn’t it ?

I want you to take the slow and long approach ,

I want you to take your time ,

Problem is though – that doesn’t sound very sexy does it ,

Me telling you to take your time and make small changes ,

i can see you know – rolling your eyes , tutting because you have that holiday in 3 weeks- you haven’t got time to go slowly ,

(we will ignore that fact you have had a year since your last holiday to prepare for this ;))

But I can promise you it will be the RIGHT way ,

The sustainable way ,

The non falling off the wagon way ,

When it comes to weight loss , slow and steady wins the race ,

Every single time.